The Masks We Wear
didn’t realize it, until recently, that I am intrigued and obsessed by decorative masks. I have been known, on several weekends, to drive all over Nairobi looking for masks that I can adorn the walls of my house.
What I am usually looking for is awfully specific. I cannot describe it to myself, let alone to anyone else. All I know is that when I find them/it, I would know… it is that simple.
During my travels when visiting the local market or just touring, I am always drawn to masks and inevitably, I will buy one or two pieces. I will always gravitate towards the curio shops and not the perfumes or drinkssections at the duty-free shops; it does not matter which airport. I guess I am not one to send to buy perfumes at the duty-free shops.
It was during one of my business trips some years back that I visited the Museum in Cairo. Man, oh man! I loved looking at the masks and sarcophagus that the Pharaohs wore and were buried in. While I couldn’t afford the masks being sold in the museum shops, I did buy myself two or three beautiful ornaments for my house and neckline.
The Grand Egyptian Museum (GEM) will open in November 2022 and I am thrilled that finally, all those Egyptian artifacts around the world will finally have a beautiful home to rest and I cannot wait to go again, of course, I have my eye on a certain mask.
I love African ornaments and artifacts, so when a friend of mine, Maria, introduced me to this little gem in the heart of Nairobi CBD that had people selling various artworks, artifacts, and masks from all over Africa, I was ecstatic! We visited this market several times purchasing different items. I know that, on those weekends I was searching and did not know what exactly I was looking for, had I been to this place in the CBD, I would have found the perfect item(s), but for the life of me I could not remember the door to the place we frequented. I have a vague idea of the street, but I needed company and someone who would be patient as I hmmed, hmmmed, & hmmed and held the pieces at different angles and placed them in the light and hmmmed againbut there were no volunteers to take me scouting the sketchy streets of downtown Nairobi searching for that one door.
Eventually, I ended up online and my search took a life of its own, but I finally found the masks that, through the pictures, spoke to me. I researched on the origin as much as possible, but the truth is the best way to buy ornaments is by touching them, talking to the seller, smelling the piece, and thinking about the journey it made to get to you, the trunk it must have been stored in, that musty, earthy, and woody scent. {sigh!} I needed to satisfy my itch, so I took the leap of faith, purchased them and voila they arrived. I was ecstatic!
My next problem was where to hang them. It hit me that I hadn’t quite thought through the whole thing, but since I am aspiring to have an African heritage themed house... I found a nice place to hang them.
Immediately, I started thinking that I should perhaps, have a wall full of masks. I have about 10 masks hanging in various parts of my house, so I just need another 10 maybe? 10 that I would have to painstakingly choose and hopefully, I get to choose them during my travels.
After I hung them, I sat down to reflect on why I was obsessed with masks, and I couldn’t help but wonder if this was a code for something else.
The African masks I have come across are ornate, beautiful, and elaborate. Some masks are so beautifully ugly. The beauty for me, is that there was a mask maker who purposefully made it grotesque, there was no mistake in each curve so smoothly finished that it is striking. Just beautifully ugly! I cannot explain it, but I hope you understand what I mean.
We are drawn to beautiful things and some masks are plain beautiful. However, I usually feel something more, some form of spirituality, something stirring in me, drawing me to study them, evoking emotions from intense sadness to happiness. Then there are some that are so unnerving and create such fear in me that it would take a while before I could look at them carefully and there are others, I would simply refuse to take a second look. I always wonder what the mask maker felt as he curved it. Was he burdened by the use of the mask perhaps a burial rite, chasing of evil spirits or when begging the gods for a child? I imagine it must be emotionally draining.
In African traditional societies, like all other traditional societies in the world, there were many reasons for wearing masks and each reason called for a specific type of masks. For example, masks allowed both the wearers and participants to commune with the spirits, had elements of religiosity, others were used as a form of punishment, or during initiation into secret societies. They were worn to hide shame and to give some form of dignity to the wearer, participants, and audience.
After the event was over be it a funeral, rite of passage or religious ceremony, the masks were put away until next time when the services of the mask carver would be needed.
We all wear masks. Some with more ease than others. Maybe you have two or 10 masks that you use interchangeably. Are the masks you wear for a specific occasion, or have you made them a part of you, that the true self is gone forever? The reasons we wear masks are varied ranging from: protectionism, hiding fear, manipulation, hiding anxiety, nefarious reasons, to taking on a new identity or simply we do not want to show all our colours just yet.
Societies around the world have different perspectives about wearing masks. The Japanese for example seem to encourage mask wearing or not revealing one’s true self. “The first face, you show to the world. The second face, you show to your close friends, and your family. The third face, you never show anyone.” – Japanese proverb
I suppose there is a case to be made about not revealing your entire true self, all I know is that it is burdensome for all the actors involved.
How about the masks worn in leadership - masks of command - are they necessary? Can a leader wear a mask and at the same time be authentic? Are there situations where it is ok to wear a mask?
In my humble opinion the answer to these questions is no. There is no need for masks. I came to realize that the masks are the egos creation, as its own protection mechanism to ensure it continues to exist and thrive. Therefore, if we deal with our ego and recognize when it's beginning to assert its influence, we can avoid picking the masks that it demands us to wear.
For example, in times of crisis or dwindling results, the expectation is that the leader should know what to do. S/he is fearless, knowledgeable & calm. The truth is that in the face of adversity sometimes one is uncertain and not calm our ego steps in to hide these inadequacies that one feels they should not have and suddenly a mask comes on.
Would it be so bad to admit that you do not have the answers at once but together with the relevant people you will supply the way forward? Would it be so terrible to show vulnerability followed by steady stewardship when you are clear on what to do?
“In surrender, you no longer need ego defenses and false masks. You become very simple, very real.” “That’s dangerous,” says the ego. “You will get hurt. You will become vulnerable.” What the ego does not know, of course, is that only through the letting go of resistance, through becoming “vulnerable,” can you discover your true and essential invulnerability.”
3 things stand out for me: first selecting the masks we wear daily or at separate occasions is tiring, it is draining, and we must consciously remember who gets to see what and I chuckle at the comedy of errors that ensue if you happen to wear the wrong one. Secondly, that wearing a mask removes the authentic nature of human interaction. Lastly, from time to time, we should evaluate why we wear them; deal with the reasons we wear them and make the journey towards living a wholesome life.
#letterstoself #soulwork