Leadership, depression in the C-Suite and changing the narrative
A while back, I was talking to a young lady about leadership. What it means, the struggles, joys, and pitfalls. During our conversation, I let her in on some truths we hardly talk about or internalize and act on enough. These were that, amongst many others, it is lonely. You have heard many C- suite executives say, “It's lonely at the top.” It may sound cliche, but it is true. I know. You may ask, "What, with all the power, prestige, and whatnot, who needs company?"
Some studies on the psychology of success have shown that many CEOs have had depressive episodes, culminating in full-blown depression that goes untreated. A study by the University of Cincinnati highlighted that while the life of a CEO includes wealth, comfortable surroundings, glamour, and power, they also work long hours with tight schedules, lack privacy, have gruelling travel obligations, experience intense scrutiny, and social isolation. Long story short, they lead a lonely life.
I am sure I am not alone in these sentiments, but whether CEOs across the board admit these feelings is another huddle altogether. It is nerve-wracking, not all the time. But if early 2020 did not fray your nerves, then you are made of steel. People expect you to be bulletproof. Sometimes this emanates from the said executive. The idea of admitting that we are struggling is ludicrous to many people, as well as ourselves. There is a lot of stigma surrounding the issue.
Unsurprisingly, therefore, self-care for C-suite executives is crucial. One must find spaces and rooms that are safe to regenerate, be candid and vulnerable without judgement. It could be in the office of a psychologist or groups curated to encourage and offer support. They may look like your girlie squad, think Angela Merkel and her band of advisers, (when I read about her squad, I was so excited. I do not know why but it just did something for me), your boys' club, although lately, these boys’ clubs have gotten some seriously bad publicity. The point is safe spaces are rare and much needed.
The idea of admitting that we are struggling is ludicrous to many people, as well as ourselves. There is a lot of stigma surrounding the issue.
Someone recently sent me their thoughts about leadership and the need for these safe spaces. He introduced me to two groups YPO and Chief. As I was going through their websites, I kept nodding and humming in agreement. It is no wonder people pay top-dollar to be part of these groups. Look them up.
Back to my conversation with this young lady. I told her that there was a tweet I wanted to post but thought better of it because someone would comment, “Sasa unataka kulia?” Which directly translated means, "Now you want to cry?" But really, it is Kenyanese for “Now what do you want us to do?” We had a good laugh and, in the end, did not post it. But having read up on depression and mental health issues amongst C-suite executives, I want to provoke some discussion.
My post said: Earlier this week, I posted a quote by Sam Waldon on leadership that I liked. An outstanding leader is supposed to give encouragement, boost their people’s self-esteem, make sure the organization works like a well-oiled machine, basically give, give, give. No one ever talks about the leader themselves, what they go through, the mental strains and the pressure to always be right, perfect. The burden and the weight of their employees and their families are on their shoulders. The consequences of a mistake affect not only your staff but also their loved ones. Leaders always must worry about the bottom line. What happens when their well runs dry? How often do we think about their self-worth? #SelfCare #MentalHealth
Why am I sharing this now? As I said, I have read up on mental health issues amongst C- suite executives. We are all, now, more open to discussing mental health issues. I have a request. It is not much. The next time you see your CEO, MD or C- suite executive give them a high five, crack a joke along the corridors, tell a knock-knock joke. Of course, do so with kindness and genuineness. Understand that they like you have stress and most certainly do not want to be used or taken advantage of. Do it because you genuinely care and recognize them as flawed as you are warts and all.