Leadership, Depression in the C-Suite and Changing the Narrative; Part 2
After I wrote the first article, some people commented, a few reached out to talk and the discussions were great. One discussion, however, stayed with me and led me to write this second part. The discussion started with a call from a friend after the niceties they asked, “so now?” with the usual way we stretch words when we are puzzled “‘how do you want us to navigate this?” All my efforts to explain that the idea was to provoke discussion and thought, and not necessarily provide solutions hit a snag. In short, I was asked to provide a journey guide for those who will end up in the C-suite or are in new in the job and might need a navigation map.
So, I reached out to some people to ask them about their journey. Some are seasoned leaders, others newbies and some mid in their leadership journey. It was to say the very least affirming and I honestly experienced some schadenfreude - I knew I was not alone. We discussed some of the signs to watch out for and talked about how they navigated their journey
I continued to research on this topic, as it remains of interest, maybe because I have been exposed to it or that depression has touched the lives of those near and dear to me.
I am pleased that both internationally and locally, depression has gained a lot more attention. In fact, mental health and wellbeing has become a topic of discussion on many dinner tables, boardrooms and even schools.
For the past couple of years, I have noted that my children’s school has a mental health awareness month and this makes for good conversation and discussion at our dinner table. The more we expose our kids to mental health issues, the better. In fact, during our dinner table discussions on mental health, I found out that in May 2019, the World Health Organization recognized burnout as a syndrome. It is defined as a chronic medical condition resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed and comprises of three basic dimensions: exhaustion, cynicism, and lack of professional efficacy.
So naturally, I read up and found that there is plenty of research on the relationship between burnout and depression and it shows that employees who were diagnosed with depression suffered from burnout. A study by Maske et al, 2016, found that 58% of the individuals who suffered from burnout were also diagnosed with depressive episodes.
This is not to say that it is causal and while there still is some debate and disagreement amongst researchers as to whether there is an overlap between depression and burnout, many studies have shown that there is a positive correlation between the two. Interesting, isn’t it? Here is the thing, burnout is a really slow process, it’ll creep up on you and you might excuse all those symptoms for something else. Here's a breakdown so that we can tell the difference.
Stress: Characterised by over-engagement; Emotions are overreactive; Produces urgency and hyperactivity; Loss of energy; Leads to anxiety disorders; Primary damage is physical; May kill you prematurely.
Burnout: Characterised by disengagement; Emotions are blunted; Produces helplessness and hopelessness; Loss of motivation, ideals and hope; Leads to detachment and depression; Primary damage is emotional; May make life seem not worth living.
Coming back to our journey guide. What do we recommend?
- Self-care - Over the past two years, we have heard and read about self-care so much, so I decided to check the definition just to be sure:
Oxford dictionary definition
noun: self-care; noun: self-care -the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health."autonomy in self-care and insulin administration" - the practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.
World Health Organization Definition:
Self-care is the ability of individuals, families and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a health worker.
Does this change what you thought about self-care? If we are to preserve our own health, then some of the things we must do include: eating healthy, exercising, meditating & sleeping. Yes sleeping. By now, we all know that a healthy adult should sleep between 6-8 hours.
We need to change our mindset and accept that, if we sleep for anything less than these recommended hours, there is a problem in fact the thinking now is that if you sleep anything less than 6 hours you are likely to have memory loss and early onset of certain diseases in your later years. If exercise is your thing, diarize it and let no one come between you and that treadmill or weights for that hour.
On those selected days a week and time, you are not available. An important aspect of self-care, is the ability to put healthy boundaries between you and your boss and / or the teams you lead. You do need some dedicated time to recharge and take care of yourself.
I took up kick boxing recently and for the past 5 or so months it’s been in my calendar at least 2-3 times a week. I believe if I commit to it, it will happen. I have been quite successful in making it happen. Nothing beats punching those pads at the end of a long day. So, define what’s important for you to be healthy. Go forth and do it, make it part of your routine as often as possible and guard that time as if your life depends on it, because it really does.
2. Happiness in the definition was a surprise to me. How many times have we done things that bring zero joy in the name of adulting? Now, I am not advocating for recklessness in the name of finding happiness.
The inclusion of happiness was a cause for a pause to me and a realization that I need to add doing more of the things that make me happy as part of my selfcare routine. People who know me well enough, know that I like telling them stories of the silly things I’m up to, that remind me to remain young at heart and laugh at myself.
Admittedly, this is not enough, and I am willing to think of more things that will bring laughter. I guess laughter is my definition of happiness. I am making a pact with myself to add 2-3 more things that will bring happiness as part of my selfcare routine.
What is your happy place? Can you define it? Is it reading a book, watching the sun rise or set, watching the trees sway or simply being still for an hour a day and silencing all the noise and buzz around you?
When you are happy, you are more approachable as a leader and possibly even easier to work with. There will be days when the happiness index will go down, the aim is to keep track of it.
The WHO definition focuses more on the medical aspects of selfcare.
When was the last time you had a full medical checkup? Did a comprehensive medical health checkup make it to your annual to do list or resolutions? If not, then are you really caring for yourself? Who will, if you don’t?
The executives I talked to tried to be more deliberate about their healthcare, admittedly, it was because of their age and that they have friends who have suffered and would prefer to nip any sickness in the bud. I have seen a good trend whereby corporates organize wellness checks for their employees. These are done in the offices to encourage the employees to make a quick visit to the person administering the test. Usually, these tests give a great initial health status benchmark and they range from diabetes screening, cholesterol check, BMIs, etc. these are great starters.
Be deliberate to check on how your body is functioning and planning to address any issues that may come up.
As a leader, I hope that as you do your health checks, you’ll ensure that some form of wellness package is included in your employees’ medical scheme, and I certainly hope that counselling services will make it there.
3. Genuine, trustworthy friendships made or continue to make the difference to the few people I spoke to. They have a bunch of good friends whom they occasionally meet to drink some wine, whisky, coffee etc. and just laugh, destress, or get engrossed in other aspects of life other than their work.
Make this a regular occurrence not just when you are stressed. Keep those childhood or college friendships alive not because you will need them one day, but because they are part of your DNA, a color in the rainbow that is you. Do not ditch those friends whom you played kalongo (a children’s game equivalent to playing house) with or rushed with to Carnivore before 9p.m. on Wednesday and Sunday nights, after all, they are the ones who will bury you when your time comes.
Your employer, if you’re lucky, might just pay for the obituary in the dailies announcing you untimely demise.
Long ago, I participated in a work-related survey and two questions that stood out for me were: “Do you have friends at work? Do you have people who care about you at work?” I believe these questions highlight the importance of quality relationships at work. It’s a known fact that we work better when we have a good working relationship with our colleagues; camaraderie is nice. Make friends in the office, be nice, be as open as you possibly can, be more than just the boss and be vulnerable.
4. My fourth and fifth pieces of advice are prioritize, prioritize and prioritize. True, it’s easier said than done, but with practice it can be achieved. Have a clear list, vision board, to do list, whatever it takes, learn/relearn this skill. Of course, I know that by the time you are getting to the corner office you must be adept at this ... right? But in our list of priorities, do we include the things that are important? And how do you know what is important?
Well, all the older super successful people in their sunset days, when interviewed, never for one minute regretted not working longer hours ... so really, I’ll not assume we are clear on how to prioritize and its importance.
When at home with family, friend, partner, or spouse, be present and with them in that moment. If it’s after work hours and it’s on e-mail, it’s not an emergency, if it’s an emergency they would call. I do try not to look at my emails over the weekend or in the dead of the night. I also try not to write emails at odd hours or after work. I fail a lot of times, but the key word here is I try because I would like to be a good leader and demonstrate some work-life balance.
There is a reason why countries are legislating on this and some organizations have proactively discouraged the practice of sending emails after work ours. France, Belgium and Portugal have a law to protect workers from being penalized for ignoring after-hours work messages.
Workers have the legal right to switch off work-related messages and devices outside office hours. Phones have become part and parcel of our lives that chances are one will inevitably look at their work emails during rest, thereby ending the resting phase.
When at work, then be at work and put in all the time you can. For some, due to the commute, it is difficult to be home in good time, but they have instead made a pact with their spouses that the weekend is 100% family time free from any work, except of course if it’s an emergency.
The aim is also to be good leaders as you practice this, do the same for your team members, drop the WhatsApp messages over the weekend or expectations to be constantly available. We all have the right to disconnect.
Evaluate your priorities often, what may be a priority today will cease being so some months or years down the lane. Of course, I do understand that in the earlier part of your career one needs to put in the time, do so and remember to reevaluate at some point to check if that need to slog it still exists as it did before.
Prioritize your mental health and have regular conversations with yourself to check on your wellbeing and it does not harm to have regular conversations with a professional therapist.
Take a moment to acknowledge that the minute you are down, the show will go on, your replacement will be hired ASAP and if you have done a really good job, you probably already have planned your succession and know your replacement. Ouch! I know!
Now these 3 – 5 tips of course are just what I have found important and useful for me and a few other people I talked to. They are by no means unto themselves a deterrent for depression. Depression is a complex disease and the more we discuss and read about it, the better for our society and we can make it easier for those who suffer from it.